How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
