How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
