I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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