Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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