im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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