I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
