i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
