I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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