I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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