I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
