Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
