She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
