Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
