Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
