just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
