While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
