we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize