great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize