I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
