dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
okay pat passed out under dana's car
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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