My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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