she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize