I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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