so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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