we're blogging at a bar
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
