Christians are straight up FREAKS
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize