i think i have herpe
just one?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
