i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
