i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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