She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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