i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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