Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
