I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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