i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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