Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
