The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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