I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
