I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
