the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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