that's an acceptable place to lick
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
