I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Randomize