I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
