Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
