It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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