woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
