dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
