apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
