We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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