Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
