We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
