You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
