sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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