So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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