i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
