I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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