and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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