Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
