Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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