My room smells like vodka and shame
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
