oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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