Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize